Ask Wendy

Wondering about sending a text to connect with an old friend who might be available for dating now.

I’m wanting to know what strategies you used to stay optimistic when dating those 121 men? Did you feel optimistic? Were there times you felt you were never going to find someone?

He doesn’t talk very much about his feelings, instead, he likes to show me how he feels through his actions.

The problem is that I also have difficulty communicating my feelings at times. As long as I’m paying attention, it works, but sometimes I’m afraid I’ll miss something or I’ll interpret his actions the wrong way.

Remember when you were a teen and you told your friend, “you fly, I’ll buy”? They grabbed the burgers and fries so you didn’t have to get your lazy bones off the couch, but for their effort, you paid for the fast-food run.

This is the grown-up version of that. You fly, he buys—literally.

When you’re new, he owes you nothing in between dates. He doesn’t need to check on you, see how your week is going, try to get to know you more—nada. That’s a boyfriend’s accountability list, not a new date’s, read more…

The men you attract are not your ex-husband, so you don’t need to worry about sabotaging them out the gate if you’re willing to see them as new and shiny instead of as new manifestations of past pain.