Free Advice

If you’re looking for information on dating men, working with men, or simply understanding men just a little bit better, you’ve come to the right place.  Enjoy free articles, radio interviews and tele-classes here.

10 Life-Changing Habits Happily Single People Do Every. Single. Day.

happy woman

Get ready to LOVE your life!

Happy single people are just like happily coupled people.

Yep, you read that right!

Why? Because we know one of the greatest — and simplest — secrets in life. Every day, we get to hang out with the most amazing person we know … ourselves!

And this doesn’t change when we find our perfect someone, because that person should never “complete” us; they should complement us. “Loving yourself” isn’t just a lip service concept — it’s a real way of life, whether your life is a partnered or not.

Entrusting the sacred task of caring for you to anyone else can feel like a delicious perk, but it’s far from a necessity. And what better time to start putting yourself first than while you’re flying solo?

Happy-making habits will get you a long way towards not only being “content” as a single person but towards truly loving your single self too. So, to help you along here is some advice from those of us ALREADY rocking the happy single life. Here’s what we do that makes solo living so amazing:

Continue reading this article on YourTango.com here.

Your 3-Step Guide To Trust

couple near water

It’s time to start getting honest …

A wise woman once said, “An honest person will tell you when they’ve lied.”

Newsflash, folks: We all lie.

If you find yourself disputing this statement — you’re a liar, liar, pants on fire!

So if we’re all liars in one way or another, how do we get the people we care about to be truthful with us about the important stuff?

It’s easier than you think, but first, we have to understand the why of the lie.

Humans lie when we’re in trouble when we’re backed into a corner, or sometimes when we feel our life, livelihood, or safety is threatened. It’s a knee-jerk compulsion — a primal response to a perceived threat.

In layman’s terms, that means it’s normal. Of course, when we’re the ones being lied to, it almost invariably sucks.

So how do you get the truth we crave and learn to trust the people you love? 

Continue reading this article on YourTango.com here.

6 Ways Men WISH Women Would Show Their Love (Rather Than Just Saying It)

couple in love

Take note, ladies.

Words of affection are like chocolate buttercream cupcakes for the ears, right? There’s nothing quite like listening to the one you love wax poetic about their love for you and the ways you are special to them. That kind of attention can really make our hearts sing.

When it comes to experiencing love, we are all unique and complex people with equally unique and complex love languages. But to be sure, there are patterns, themes, and trends that resonate with most men’s experiences of feeling love.

Likewise, there are actions women can take that result in predictable outcomes — whether that’s having a guy fall deeper in love or watching him fall right out of love.

So how do you say “I love you” in a language your guy values and understands at his core?

Continue reading this article on YourTango.com here.

3 Lies Women Tell Themselves About What Men Want

woman sitting on couch

We’re making it harder than it has to be.

Maybe it started when your kindergarten friend pulled you aside and whispered a warning into your ear after seeing you dash across the schoolyard in a game of kissing tag at recess. Or later, when you told your best friend your most prized secret, that you’d had your first real kiss (with tongue!).

Certainly, some helpful female family member or friend laid down the facts for you when Aunt Flow came for her first visit. And by the time you were a grown woman, adulting all over the place — dating, hooking up, and everything in between — you not only had the facts, but you were also doling out sage advice of your own.

We, women, have been cautioning each other and having each other’s backs about men since the beginning of time, but some of the things we share about what men want are just bold-faced lies (whether we know it or not).

The real problem is this: These lies we tell make finding and keeping lasting love h-a-r-d.

Get the top three worst offenders…and the truth about what’s really going on with men of all ages by reading my article on YourTango.com here.

10 Stages Of Finding Love When You’re New To Online Dating

couple on a date

From the first click to the first date.

I had to go on 121 first dates before I found my love, Mr. Lucky #121. Can you even imagine? Boy, did I experience a lot. I saw the good, the bad, and the truly ugly, and I learned hundreds of lessons the hard way — so that you don’t have to.

With this in mind, I’ve discovered that there are 10 stages of online dating. Knowing about each stage will help you navigate the tricky and sometimes insidious world of online honey-hunting so that you can have more fun and freedom on your journey to meeting the love of your life.

Learn the 10 stages of finding love by reading my article on YourTango.com by clicking here.

Three Weird Things That Make Men Fall In Love (And Stay In Love)

makes him want to stay

What makes men fall in love and stay in love is my jam. I’m obsessed. Seriously. I’ve spent the last 16 years researching the topic, and I’ve asked thousands of guys what sparked it for them.

Sometimes their answers are obvious, but my favorites are the ones that leave me picking my jaw up off the floor, like when one man said, “When we had sex in a moving vehicle that neither of us were driving.”

Or the time another said, “I fell in love with my wife on our third date. We were making out at a lookout point and eventually she had to pee. She said, ‘It’s okay, I’ll go in the bushes,’ and she did! No bathroom to find, no problem to solve, and we didn’t even have to leave the lookout point. I kinda loved her in that moment.”

Read the rest of my article on YourTango.com

The Jealousy Hack That Creates Happy, Healthy, Passionate Relationships

woman green with jealousy

You don’t have to be such a slave to jealousy.

Jealous (adj.): Fearful or wary of losing one’s position or situation to someone else, especially in a sexual relationship. —American Heritage Dictionary

Jealous much? Don’t hide under that green hoodie—it’s easier to get a handle on than you think. Jealousy stirs within you because of love (or lust), but it’s the very thing that can kill these things, too.

Luckily, this jealously thing is fixable, but whatever you do, don’t look to the lessons you learned as a kid (or teen, or even adult) for the fix. Our society has a bizarre relationship with jealousy that has screwed us over royally, so we’ll need to do some unpacking first.

7 bizarre societal lessons you’re taught about jealousy that mess you up (that are total myths):

1. It’s something that just happens to you.

You have no control over it. It comes out of nowhere like a glitter bomb at a nightclub.

2. It means you care about or love someone.

In fact, if you’re not jealous, do you really love him? Not a jealous person?

Maybe it’s not really love, then.

Wildly jealous? They must be The One.

Read the full article by Wendy Newman on YourTango.com here.

6 Ways Waiting For Prince Charming Keeps YOU From Happily Ever After

woman waiting in cafe

I was willing to abandon my Kool-Aid Hawaiian punch, favorite animal coloring books, and my 64-pack of crayons that lay strewn across the front porch just for a glimpse of him.

I’d race to the end of my driveway to see that one boy riding his black-and-silver dirt bike past my house.

He was handsome, (Wendy translation: thin and wiry with messy hair) and the last day I saw him, he was wearing black-and-white checked Vans, a gray t-shirt, and Levis.

I memorized that outfit.

After all, when he returned … Read the rest of Wendy Newman’s published article on YourTango.com here.

The #1 Game Over, Flaming Red Flag You Should Never Ignore On A Date

DateMistakeSmallIf he does this on a first date … don’t see him again!

Consent” is a hot word right now. And it should be. I hope it’s here to stay. Because when a date does something against your explicit wishes, it’s game over, right?

But, I’ve noticed the “consent” conversation largely hovers around sexual consent only (and the trauma caused when consent is absent and sexual assault occurs). —

Yet, men often show you on the very first date whether they care (or not) about honoring your boundaries.

Continue reading