Ask Wendy

Why Won’t She Take a Complement?

March 17, 2017
Hey Wendy,

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about six weeks now. And she does this thing; she denies any compliments I give to her. When I turned 30 I realized I was bi and this is my first real girl/girl relationship, so that might have something to do with it.

The guys I’ve dated didn’t do this. Advice, please?

Kristen L. - Chicago, IL

Hey Kristen,

Easy. The next time you say, “That top looks amazing on you” and she says, “No it doesn’t,” or you say, “You’re so smart!” and she says, “No I’m not,” take her by the hand, sit her down, and say, “Look, I know your inner critic is telling you something different, but I think you’re incredible. Can you try to see yourself through my eyes instead of your own? Because right now, you’re insulting my taste, and I think I have really good taste.”

I bet it’ll open her eyes to her own harsh inner critic and shed some new light on your appreciation of her, as well.

Happy dating!

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