When the Extrovert Meets the Introvert  (And Love Blossoms)

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Hey Donna,

Isn’t Wheel of Time something like twelve novels? That’s quite an accomplishment! And I’m sure the books take your brain to interesting places, or you wouldn’t take the time to read them. Be sure to share with him the stories you love and the places you go when you’re reading. If you’re passionate about something, no matter what it is, your enthusiasm is charming and contagious.

Take Yes for an Answer

You two went on a date, and after that, you decided to do it again. And again. And again. And again. This is him repeatedly demonstrating that yes, he likes you. You are worth spending time with, and he enjoys your good company.

It’s perfectly fine that you haven’t been to a million places yet. In fact, it’s more than fine. He will likely want to show you some of his favorite places, and there’s nothing like turning someone on to something or somewhere new. You get to experience things for the first time with him, and that will delight him, and make the journey sweet.

Tell a New Story

Instead of telling yourself “I’m boring” or “he’s going to find out that I’m not cultured enough,” accept your greatness. Tell yourself empowering, true stories like, “he is really enjoying my company” and “I have mad listening skills and he really likes that about me.”

Look: Our brains looove to tell us stories. We’re storytelling creatures by nature. Since we’re constantly spinning stories about ourselves in our heads anyway, you might as well pick an empowering story instead of one that will take you out of this connection or bring your mood down.

Opposites Can Compliment

If you said, “I met this amazing guy who loves to travel and go to cultural events, and I never want to do that. Are we a good fit?” I’d have more questions for you. And frankly, I’d be a little concerned — mostly because people tend to enjoy fun things with the people who make them happy.

But you’re not saying this.

Even if you were, it still wouldn’t be over just as long as he was the type of guy who didn’t mind whom he did things with, and you didn’t mind his absence while he took a buddy to do those things instead of you.

What wouldn’t work is if you never wanted to do those things — and you also didn’t want him to do them, either. That’s no bueno.

So, does he need someone worldlier than you? Probably not. He seems to like you just the way you are.

Do I think you two stand a chance? Absolutely.

Vulnerability Rocks!

What will carry you even further is if you’re willing to be vulnerable and share your concerns. You don’t need to make it a big deal or a heavy conversation. Use your lightest, most curious tone (without being self-deprecating) and say, “Wow! You’ve gone to so many amazing places! When this pandemic is over I want to see the world, too. Does it matter to you that I have a lot less experience?” And then don’t speak — wait for like, at least twenty seconds. Just let him talk (you’re already good at that) and see what he has to say about you and your inexperience. I bet he will be delighted that he gets to experience lots of adventurous firsts with you.

People like to provide new experiences for their loved ones. You are giving him the precious gift of having a lot of newness to offer.

Happy dating!

.    .    .

Wendy Newman is the author of 121 First Dates. She’s a dating, sex, and relationship expert who’s led hundreds of workshops and revolutionized the lives of over 70,000+ women internationally.

Need one-on-one help from Wendy? You can hire her by the hour.

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