My boyfriend of six months wants me to meet his children. Our relationship is going well so far, and just last week he asked if I was ready to meet them. I said yes but now I have some concerns. The kids are six and three, and I’m not sure how I’m going to communicate with them.
I really want his kids to like me and I don’t want them to feel pressure. I’m afraid I’ll be awkward and the kids won’t like me. So what should I do?
Sarah C – Dallas, TX
The awesome thing about six and three is they don’t give a good God damn about what adults are doing – they don’t realize that parents even have a social life. There’s nothing outside their world, so you’re good. No pressure.
I don’t have kids. I didn’t date anyone with small children (not more than once anyway) so I’m probably the least likely to truly know exactly what to do when you meet his children. But faced with this scenario, here’s what I’d do. For six and three? Yeah, I’d lie. Don’t worry, it’s just a little, white lie that will grease the wheels of friendship without threatening their safe and predictable world.
Make a plan with your guy to meet his children at Yogurt Land. He gets there at 6:00, and you show up at 6:12 just “by chance,” and he says, “Hey kids! Wow! Look! It’s my friend, Sarah! Sarah, want to join us?” Presto! You’ve now inserted yourself into their lives as the nice lady they ran into at Yogurt Land who told that funny story about how many ways she fell when she learned to ride a bike. Two weeks later, another meeting at the grocery store near the ice cream shop. You show up at the end of the trip and dad says, “Sarah, kids, want to go grab an ice cream cone?” Two weeks later he tells the kids, “We’re going to a BBQ at that nice lady Sarah’s house. She said she’d have your favorite ice cream there.” Immersion through dairy.
Before you know it, you’re their friend, Sarah. And isn’t it cool, you’re also around the house more because you and daddy are friends. Done.
It’s an approach.
In the off chance the kids don’t like you, then it becomes a teachable moment. Dad gets to explain that everyone gets to want things, and just because you want them (or don’t want them) you don’t always get your way – especially when you’re the one not paying the mortgage.
Good luck with that! And here’s an article for when he gets to meet your family…