Friday, August 31, 2018

Hey Wendy,
A couple of months ago, I randomly looked through my boyfriend's phone and found hidden craigslist emails responding to personal ads. The emails revealed his phone number and our street address. We've lived together for over a year, and I'm a part-time mother his two girls. The people he’d been replying to were ads from old men looking for young guys, men, pregnant women, and just anybody and everybody. These emails went back before we were dating and have continued throughout our relationship.
I confronted him about it, respectfully at first but he tried to lie about it. Eventually, he got more truthful but wouldn’t give me real answers to my questions. I am unsure if he ever met up with these people, but when I asked why, he said, “It is like a game to me. I do it for the thrill.” I told him if it happened again I would leave. After that, I went through a range of emotions for about a week before I got over it.
Yesterday, I asked if I could use his phone to look up a frozen yogurt joint. I go into Google, and the last thing he looked up was “bi swinger life”. I shoved the phone in his hand and said I had to leave. We started yelling and he said, “We already had this conversation and I paid my dues! You can’t keep punishing me. I didn’t do anything I swear!”
I don’t know what to believe. I don't understand how a woman can date a bisexual man, how do they do it? It might have been different if he told me in advance, but I found it out the hard way. And I can't get over that he was talking to everyone, including old men.
We are in a long-term relationship and planning on kids and marriage and a house in 2 years. He is a sufferer of PTSD from Afghanistan. I know I am the only good thing in his life and the only person who cares. He knows that he needs me and that I am his last chance at a happy life. But how am I to get past this? He won’t talk to me about it. What if he cheats with another man? If he loves me and wants this marriage and life, then why isn’t my love enough to curve his curiosities and be satisfied with me?
Brittany W - San Diego, California
A couple of months ago, I randomly looked through my boyfriend's phone and found hidden craigslist emails responding to personal ads. The emails revealed his phone number and our street address. We've lived together for over a year, and I'm a part-time mother his two girls. The people he’d been replying to were ads from old men looking for young guys, men, pregnant women, and just anybody and everybody. These emails went back before we were dating and have continued throughout our relationship.
I confronted him about it, respectfully at first but he tried to lie about it. Eventually, he got more truthful but wouldn’t give me real answers to my questions. I am unsure if he ever met up with these people, but when I asked why, he said, “It is like a game to me. I do it for the thrill.” I told him if it happened again I would leave. After that, I went through a range of emotions for about a week before I got over it.
Yesterday, I asked if I could use his phone to look up a frozen yogurt joint. I go into Google, and the last thing he looked up was “bi swinger life”. I shoved the phone in his hand and said I had to leave. We started yelling and he said, “We already had this conversation and I paid my dues! You can’t keep punishing me. I didn’t do anything I swear!”
I don’t know what to believe. I don't understand how a woman can date a bisexual man, how do they do it? It might have been different if he told me in advance, but I found it out the hard way. And I can't get over that he was talking to everyone, including old men.
We are in a long-term relationship and planning on kids and marriage and a house in 2 years. He is a sufferer of PTSD from Afghanistan. I know I am the only good thing in his life and the only person who cares. He knows that he needs me and that I am his last chance at a happy life. But how am I to get past this? He won’t talk to me about it. What if he cheats with another man? If he loves me and wants this marriage and life, then why isn’t my love enough to curve his curiosities and be satisfied with me?
Brittany W - San Diego, California