Ask Wendy

How Can We Live With President Trump?

Friday, November 11, 2016
How Important is it to Have Things in Common within Your Relationship? Or Silent Treatment
Hey Wendy,

My partner is upset and somewhat inconsolable about the election. I’m worried. What can I do? We’ve been Trumped.

Victoria R. — Dallas, TX

Hey Victoria,

I hear you, sister. Half (or more) of our nation is in mourning and worried sick right now. We all have work to do to bring peace, our values, and safety to those we love and those we care about. So let’s start at home.

Your husband is distressed. When it comes to safety, guys pay attention to two things:

  • Is the situation safe?
  • Are my people safe?

As of Tuesday night, he can’t say “yes” to either of those things.

The stability of this country, the security of his family, of women’s rights, Obamacare, his friends, family members and co-workers of color, all are not safe.

This will take him a minute to work through. Trust that he’ll get there. He is coming up with his own personal plan, which will include what he can and what he can’t do to protect and bring order and stability to his situation and to his people.

Be available for him to talk through strategies, because he’ll no doubt be coming up with a game plan. He’ll likely sort out the immediate impact on his own, and then the difference he can make for the communities he cares about that are under attack.

He’s on a one-man journey in his mind right now; don’t take it personally if he doesn’t want to talk about it yet. He knows it’s important to not act on his feelings, so he’s working through the emotions, clearing his head, and then planning for the future. The best thing you can do is to be his sounding board when he’s ready. Be a compassionate listener, and be open to his ideas. I wouldn’t bother telling him that he can’t solve this problem all on his own. If you grant him the time and space for this process, he will come to you strong, sturdy, and ready to share his thoughts, feelings, and plans.

Throwing my concern of looking like a hippy to the wind, I’m sending much love, peace, and healing out there to everyone during this time.




Do you have a dating, sex or relationship question for Wendy? Send it to [email protected].