Ask Wendy

How Do I Respond Online?

Tuesday, September 27, 2016
Hey Wendy,

What’s a nice response to give when a guy has gotten a little passive-aggressive because he read a question in your profile that says no thank you?

Tara U. — Mill Valley, CA

Hey Tara,

Why would you look for a nice response to give to a pansy ass resisting who you are and what you need? I’m not keen on adversarial behavior, so coming up with kind ways to reward someone who’s demonstrated behavior that’s resistant to who you are and unacceptable for a healthy partnership isn’t my strong suit.

My nicest response in this case would be none at all. Go live your life and surround yourself with people who are running towards you. Ones who if they need clarification or question your boundaries will do so directly, kindly, and with respect when asking you questions.

Not ready to walk away just yet? Try, “Hey, I noticed a (fill in the blank with his reactions here) response to my profile. Is there something about what I said that doesn’t work for you?” Then look past that adorable smile and listen what he says, he’s teaching you how he relates to the people in his life.

Happy dating!

 

 

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