Ask Wendy

How Can I Help My Unemployed Boyfriend?

Friday, August 10, 2018
cafe couple reading
Hey Wendy,

I've been dating a guy for 3 months. He recently lost his job and now he doesn't want to hang out. Every time we talk on the phone, he complains how horrible his life is. I of course want to be there for him. But he keeps pushing me away. I got a new job and he didn't even ask what it was. Do I leave him alone and let him call me? What does he want from me?

Emmarie D – Santa Monica, CA

Hi Emmarie,

I’m sorry that you’re going through this bumpy time in your new relationship. Honestly, I don’t know what he wants from you, so you’re going to have to ask him. And girl, this is not the time to be gentle or beat around the bush. Do it like a dude: Direct, to the point, no messing around. Try something like this:

“Babe, I want to support you through this crappy time. I’m sorry it’s so difficult and things suck so hard right now. Here’s the thing: I feel you disconnecting and pushing me away. Do you want this relationship to end, or can we talk about the best ways I can support you right now?”

Then zip those lips, listen to what he says, and go from there.

Good luck!

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