Ask Wendy

How Can I Tell If We’re Compatible to Couple?

Tuesday, November 7, 2017
compatible to couple
Hey Wendy!

I’m dating a 50-year-old, and I’m in my early 40’s. I’m wondering, how can I tell if we’re compatible and if we’ll have fun together? He drinks some, and I don’t drink. I’m a trail runner, he’s a street runner (marathons). It seems like we don’t have a lot of activities in common. So how do you know?

SS – Charleston, SC

Dear S,

While having activities (outdoor or otherwise) in common is preferred, it’s not required for a happy life together. I’m assuming you like trail running solo or you have running buddies already, right?

It really does take a village to get all our needs met to be a well-rounded, happy person. And those who lean on their partners for everything are usually much worse off than those who have a healthy network of friends and loved ones to help get the job done.

So, to address your question: How can you tell? Try using The laundromat test. Do you like him? I mean, sure he might be cute, have a hot butt, and he’s sweet to you but do you actually like hanging out with him? Do you look forward to spending time with him? Would you want to spend four hours with him at the public laundromat washing clothes?

I’m guessing you could have a pretty good time with just about anyone when you’re off on an adventure, especially if it’s a weekend getaway but what about in the mundane? Because if you two pair up, there will be oodles and oodles of hours that are mundane. Do you think he’s funny? Do you like to hear him tell stories? Does he make your day better? Do you like how his brain works? Do you respect what he’s about and what he’s working on in his life? These are the starting points for compatibility. And remember, you don’t have to figure it out in the first three dates. This is what dating is all about: a series of meetings to see if you enjoy hanging out with each other, and can appreciate each other’s uniqueness and adorable quirks.

Happy discovering!

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