Ask Wendy

How can you get over loneliness when you’re single?

Tuesday, September 26, 2017
woman sitting in chair thinking about love after divorce
Hey Wendy,

I've been single for five months now and I just feel like I'm never going to be in a relationship again.

I haven't found anyone I like yet and all the guys that are interested in me haven't made a move in real life or are overly confident and are just "players.”

Talking about this makes me feel lonely. I feel like all my girlfriends have husbands or boyfriends, and I just don’t see things changing for me. Help!

Anita I – Seattle, WA

Dear Anita,

I’m sorry you’re feeling the pain of being on your own. I can relate. I promise, if a relationship is what you want, and you’re committed to having one, you’ll have one again. The two simple things you need to do to find your love are to start dating and don’t quit.

All your friends are coupled up. Okay, keep those friends, but invest a little time into cultivating friendships with a single woman or three. There’s no one who can help you through this time and get over loneliness like a good girlfriend. She knows exactly what you’re feeling because she’s going through it too. And when you get down in the dumps and can’t see the vision of you being a part of a happy couple, she can hold that vision for you and remind you it’s possible until you come around.

Let your loneliness act as a warning signal. You need to be extra vigilant with yourself at these times. Because anyone can be in a relationship; that part is easy. Instead of jumping into the love pond with the first frog who comes along to get over loneliness, check him out and discover if you’re a good fit together. Being lonely is no reason to say yes to the cute one standing in front of you if you two aren’t a good match.

To get you through the loneliness, read my article, 10 Life-Changing Habits Happily Single People Do Every Single Day. and discover the easy changes you can make to be happy starting today.

And to figure out what you’re truly looking for in a partner, and what your deal-breakers are, grab my Finding Your Love toolbox . It’s important to do the work so you can know him when you see him.

Good luck out there!

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