Ask Wendy

How Can I Avoid Online Dating Burnout?

Friday, May 12, 2017
Hey Wendy,

Online dating can wipe me out. Especially when it comes to email. I get tons of messages from guys that I’m just not interested in. Any suggestions on how to not allow the online dating process to not feel like a draining sorting process?

Tania C. — Los Angeles, CA

Hey Tania,

Popularity does have its downsides.

Here’s what to do: Before you open your inbox, try editing your profile. Toward the end of your blurb, say something like, “I look forward to hearing from you! I respond to those who write more than six words and fit within the online pull-down specifications outlined in my profile.”

You are writing this for you, not for them, so when a guy twenty years outside of your specified age range or 200 miles outside of your desired geographic location writes you an epic e-novel waxing poetic in verse on how you two are destined to be together and you shouldn’t let a silly little thing like age or distance keep you apart, you can hit delete. No response required. You set your limits in the profile, and sealed it with a promise not to respond. If people don’t bother to read it—or just plain ignore it that’s on them, not you.

When you get the cruiser who writes those one-word winners we’re all too familiar with like, “suuppp???” or the ubiquitous “hey,” yeah, you can delete him, too.

And for all the guys who write that might fit your criteria but just aren’t a fit for you, simply respond with a quick and kind “no thank you.” Try something along the lines of, “We’re not quite a match.”

Keeping it simple with the ones you’re not interested in and deleting those who are wildly outside of your range will help keep you in the game until you find your love.

Good luck out there!


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