Ask Wendy

How Can I Have Better Sex with My Husband & His Huge Penis?

Friday, November 18, 2016
love, sex & intimacy photo
Hey Wendy,

My husband has a huge penis and sex with him has always hurt. I haven’t said anything because I’m not sure there’s anything that can be done about it. Can you tell me if there’s a way sex can be better for me?

Carol A. — Astoria, WA

Hey Carol,

We women know the struggle is real, yet guys always make such a fuss about dick size. I wish everyone could get on the same page on this issue. Say it with me: It’s not the size that counts—it’s the fit. And an extra large peg trying to cram its way into a small hole sounds more like “ouch!” than “ahhh.”

This is a tricky one because all the good advice in the world won’t help if you two are too far apart in size. If this is the case, you’ll be limited to just a couple of options I’ve presented below, but hey, a couple’s better than none. Ready for my suggestions? Buckle up!

Talk it out. The place to start is sharing your discomfort with your spouse. While it might be uncomfortable and make you feel vulnerable, I’m thinking he’d want to know this key piece of information. Let him help you solve this! Use my tips and be willing to science-experiment this sucker out until you have a workaround that works for both of you.

Lube, patience, and a ton of foreplay. When you’re warmed up and relaxed, he will be easier to take. If weed is legal in your area and you’re open to using it, it’s known to help people relax.

Use space makers. Space-making cock rings are a real thing; check them out as a possible option for putting a slight bit of distance between you two.

Try bolsters and cushions to play with your tilt. Keep your legs closed more than open because the wider they spread, the deeper he can go. 

Stick with shallow positions. You do not want him going balls deep! The best positions are ones that naturally keep his movements shallow. You on top will allow you to control how deep he goes inside you. Sit him in a chair, or have him lie on his back so that you can straddle him. Shifting from nearly sitting upright to kneeling on all fours will give you the option for different depths.

Missionary is a classic. Try with your legs closed and his over yours. No flinging your legs over his shoulders—ouch!

Him spooning you from behind on your side with your legs closed is also a gentle option to try. Need more variety? Check out 20 of the hottest sex positions for a large penis.

Play with toys. Want to get super-experimental? Pick up a harness from Good Vibrations. He can wear “the double” that fits his penis and also fits a dildo. Pick a good-fit-for-you dildo he can use in place of his penis for penetration. (I am not talking about DP here.)

Extend your pleasure menu. Whether it’s fit or the eventual ED, every good relationship could benefit from expanding its sex menu. Together, come up with different things that are pleasurable and don’t involve penetrative sex with his penis. Use toys, try mutual masturbation, and get creative with hands and mouth to satisfy each other.

Shoot for being GGG. Good in bed, giving equal time and equal pleasure, and game for anything—within reason.

 

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