I am so glad to hear you say that there is no rule to whether you have sex or not on a first date. I have not gone that far on a first date yet but I tend to do other sexual things. I do let them lead and it is always a mutual decision. Afterward, the switch goes off in them and I get ghosted. I don’t know where the disconnect happens. I’m afraid I come on too strong because I ask where they think this might go and I am afraid that freaks them out. What are your suggestions to not get ghosted on the first date after they seem completely into you?
Nichoal E – Chicago, IL
I know a woman who, on her first date with a guy, had sex with him in a moving vehicle that neither one of them were driving. Those two crazy kids have been happily married for the past 20+ years, and they’re one of my favorite couples. I’ve talked to people who had sex on the first date with their future spouse in a bathroom bar, in a sex dungeon, and in a strip club (she was at a bachelorette party—she took him home and gave him a private lap dance for free). Now, I’m not saying that these are fool-proof, awesome strategies to adopt or the path to finding lasting, happy love. What I am saying is it happens.