A Valentines Double Dog Dare

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Funky heart 200x300Did you know while Valentine’s was created to celebrate a saint, its first association with romantic love came along in 18th-century England? Yup, that’s long before Hallmark Cards ever made the scene (Jan. 1910).

In the 18th-century, Valentine’s became an occasion similar to what it is today — a day where lovers express love for each other by offering flowers, candy, and yes, sending those sometimes adorable, sometimes sappy valentines day cards. In Europe, they weren’t rushing around trying to find a $$$ restaurant with a 7:30 spot on OpenTable.com. Instead, Saint Valentine’s keys were given out as a gift of love and as an invitation to unlock the giver’s heart.

Now, I’m down for going with convention when it serves me, but I always think convention should be questioned and thought through newly. I mean there might be a good reason for it, but that good reason in 18th-century England might not make sense in 21st-century America. So several years ago, and as a single person, I did just that. I thought about conventional Valentine’s day and  I redesigned it to suit my needs, I gave it a bit of an update. I found one concept worth keeping: an invitation to unlock the giver’s heart.

Every year I create Valentines newly.

It’s the most flexible holiday in my calendar, it can mean anything I want it to as long as I use it as an invitation to unlock the giver’s heart — my heart. I mix it up, some years are big, other years are subtle, but they all have the same theme: Give love and invite yourself to unlock your heart.

I have a double-dog-dare challenge for you

Make this Valentine’s Day a day of gratitude, love, and giving.

Skip the dozen red roses, they’re three times the price this week.

Cards? You get to say.

Will you make them or buy them?

Will you vulnerably share your adoration, yearning, or appreciation for someone(s) and sign your name or will you send the love notes anonymously?

Will you love up your single friends?

Will you take time to nurture yourself?

After I gave this holiday a makeover, I learned that celebrating – single or coupled – no longer matters.

No more, “It will be better next year when I have someone” or “It will be better next year when I have a different someone.”

This holiday is delicious – as long as you’re willing to spread your love around and unlock your giving heart.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I love you!


Wendy Newman is the author of 121 First Dates. She’s a dating, sex, and relationship expert who’s led hundreds of workshops and revolutionized the lives of over 70,000+ women internationally.

Need one-on-one coaching from Wendy? You can hire her by the hour.

Single? Take her 5-Day Love Breakthrough Course (for free — you’re welcome!)

Wendy Newman

Wendy Newman

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