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The Jealousy Hack That Creates Happy, Healthy, Passionate Relationships

woman green with jealousy

You don’t have to be such a slave to jealousy.

Jealous (adj.): Fearful or wary of losing one’s position or situation to someone else, especially in a sexual relationship. —American Heritage Dictionary

Jealous much? Don’t hide under that green hoodie—it’s easier to get a handle on than you think. Jealousy stirs within you because of love (or lust), but it’s the very thing that can kill these things, too.

Luckily, this jealously thing is fixable, but whatever you do, don’t look to the lessons you learned as a kid (or teen, or even adult) for the fix. Our society has a bizarre relationship with jealousy that has screwed us over royally, so we’ll need to do some unpacking first.

7 bizarre societal lessons you’re taught about jealousy that mess you up (that are total myths):

1. It’s something that just happens to you.

You have no control over it. It comes out of nowhere like a glitter bomb at a nightclub.

2. It means you care about or love someone.

In fact, if you’re not jealous, do you really love him? Not a jealous person?

Maybe it’s not really love, then.

Wildly jealous? They must be The One.

Read the full article by Wendy Newman on YourTango.com here.

6 Ways Waiting For Prince Charming Keeps YOU From Happily Ever After

Prince Charming and Cinderella at the train station

I was willing to abandon my Kool-Aid Hawaiian punch, favorite animal coloring books, and my 64-pack of crayons that lay strewn across the front porch just for a glimpse of him.

I’d race to the end of my driveway to see that one boy riding his black-and-silver dirt bike past my house.

He was handsome, (Wendy translation: thin and wiry with messy hair) and the last day I saw him, he was wearing black-and-white checked Vans, a gray t-shirt, and Levis.

I memorized that outfit.

After all, when he returned … Read the rest of Wendy Newman’s published article on YourTango.com here.

The #1 Game Over, Flaming Red Flag You Should Never Ignore On A Date

DateMistakeSmallIf he does this on a first date … don’t see him again!

Consent” is a hot word right now. And it should be. I hope it’s here to stay. Because when a date does something against your explicit wishes, it’s game over, right?

But, I’ve noticed the “consent” conversation largely hovers around sexual consent only (and the trauma caused when consent is absent and sexual assault occurs). —

Yet, men often show you on the very first date whether they care (or not) about honoring your boundaries.

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A Valentines Double Dog Dare

Funky heart 200x300Did you know while Valentines was created to celebrate a saint, it’s first association with romantic love came along in 18th-century England? Yup, that’s long before Hallmark Cards ever made the scene (Jan. 1910).

In the 18th-century, Valentines became an occasion similar to what it is today — a day where lovers express love for each other by offering flowers, candy and yes, sending those sometimes adorable, sometimes sappy valentines day cards. In Europe, they weren’t rushing around trying to find a $$$ restaurant with a 7:30 spot on OpenTable.com. Instead, Saint Valentine’s keys were given out as a gift of love and as an invitation to unlock the giver’s heart.

Now, I’m down for going with convention when it serves me, but I always think convention should be questioned and thought through newly. I mean there might be a good reason for it, but that good reason in 18th-century England might not make sense in 21st-century America. So several yeas ago, and as a single person, I did just that. I thought about conventional Valentines day and  I redesigned it to suit my needs, I gave it a bit of an update. I found one concept worth keeping: an invitation to unlock the giver’s heart. Continue reading

The REAL Reason Women Who Try To ‘Have It All’ End Up With NOTHING

Stop the madness!

Stages of work and life of businesswoman

Stages of work and life of businesswoman

 

“I can bring home the bacon … Fry it up in a pan … And never let you forget you’re a man … Cuz I’m a woman!

The lyrics to that insidiously catchy 1980s Enjoli perfume jingle (and the brand’s slogan: “An 8-hour perfume for the 24-hour woman”) have stuck with me long after the scent faded.

By my early teens, I had already learned that, as a woman, I needed to go-go-go (I’m the 24-hour woman, right?) in order to “have it all.”

Success as a woman meant being a top-dollar breadwinner, a great cook, and an flawlessly sexy, attentive wife — all poured into a slinky cocktail dress that I’d wear while churning out award-winning articles with one hand and mouth-watering appetizers with the other. No pressure. Continue reading

Don’t talk. And talk. And talk. And talk. And talk…

When you’re Internet dating it’s possible to get too connected by phone before meeting. This is a rookie mistake worthy of avoiding whenever possible. When we do this, we get hooked, and guess what? Most men know in the first five seconds if they’re attracted to you (or not). The odds that it will work in real time for you and for him are much, much smaller than the fantasy of the telephone. Continue reading

Stalking Your New Date Is Never a Smart Idea

So you met him online. He’s amazing. He has qualities you admire and he’s totally sexy, too. Good for you. Here comes the hardest part: After the first date, you’re going to want to visit him online. You’re curious, and your brain wants to gather as much information about him as possible. You think maybe if you reread that profile again, you’ll learn something new. Plus, when you visit his profile, you feel connected, and that makes you all warm and fuzzy, right? Wrong.

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