We’re making it harder than it has to be.
Maybe it started when your kindergarten friend pulled you aside and whispered a warning into your ear after seeing you dash across the schoolyard in a game of kissing tag at recess. Or later, when you told your best friend your most prized secret, that you’d had your first real kiss (with tongue!).
Certainly, some helpful female family member or friend laid down the facts for you when Aunt Flow came for her first visit. And by the time you were a grown woman, adulting all over the place — dating, hooking up, and everything in between — you not only had the facts, but you were also doling out sage advice of your own.
We, women, have been cautioning each other and having each other’s backs about men since the beginning of time, but some of the things we share about what men want are just bold-faced lies (whether we know it or not).
The real problem is this: These lies we tell make finding and keeping lasting love h-a-r-d.
Get the top three worst offenders…and the truth about what’s really going on with men of all ages by reading my article on YourTango.com here.
What makes men fall in love and stay in love is my jam. I’m obsessed. Seriously. I’ve spent the last 16 years researching the topic, and I’ve asked thousands of guys what sparked it for them.
Sometimes their answers are obvious, but my favorites are the ones that leave me picking my jaw up off the floor, like when one man said, “When we had sex in a moving vehicle that neither of us were driving.”
Or the time another said, “I fell in love with my wife on our third date. We were making out at a lookout point and eventually she had to pee. She said, ‘It’s okay, I’ll go in the bushes,’ and she did! No bathroom to find, no problem to solve, and we didn’t even have to leave the lookout point. I kinda loved her in that moment.”
Read the rest of my article on YourTango.com…
You don’t have to be such a slave to jealousy.
Jealous (adj.): Fearful or wary of losing one’s position or situation to someone else, especially in a sexual relationship. —American Heritage Dictionary
Jealous much? Don’t hide under that green hoodie—it’s easier to get a handle on than you think. Jealousy stirs within you because of love (or lust), but it’s the very thing that can kill these things, too.
Luckily, this jealously thing is fixable, but whatever you do, don’t look to the lessons you learned as a kid (or teen, or even adult) for the fix. Our society has a bizarre relationship with jealousy that has screwed us over royally, so we’ll need to do some unpacking first.
7 bizarre societal lessons you’re taught about jealousy that mess you up (that are total myths):
1. It’s something that just happens to you.
You have no control over it. It comes out of nowhere like a glitter bomb at a nightclub.
2. It means you care about or love someone.
In fact, if you’re not jealous, do you really love him? Not a jealous person?
Maybe it’s not really love, then.
Wildly jealous? They must be The One.
Read the full article by Wendy Newman on YourTango.com here.