My husband and I get along most of the time but when we disagree about something, boy, can it get ugly. Our fighting can last for days and sometimes we just give up with unresolved problems and more pain. I keep hearing we should “learn how to fight.” What does that mean and can you teach me how?
I don’t fight with my partner, which doesn’t mean we don’t have any problems; it just means we’re kinda weird. We’re both dedicated to harmony and peace in our home, and fighting doesn’t create either of those things. So, the short answer is: asking me how to fight well is like asking the nerdiest kid on the playground how to win a boxing match. To advise us, I’ve enlisted the help of the leading expert of fighting fair, John Gottman. He is a super-smart psychologist and researcher, and (for over 30 years) he’s studied couples and how they communicate. He can predict with stunning accuracy if couples will stay together or not simply by watching them fight.
WHAT NOT TO DO IN A FIGHT