Friday, September 30, 2016
Series continuation: What causes a relationship to go into a downward spiral? #2: Letting Go of the New
When you met your beloved, he was cute, cute, cute! Part of what was alluring was the mystery. Hallelujah and amen for a sexy and exciting man. Was he the person you had been praying to every imaginable God to meet one day? Would he feel the same way about you? Could you exhale with this one? What makes him tick?
The magical combination of chemistry, newness and uncertainty trigger a whole lot of hot, Eros lust. The start of a relationship is where sexual tension, steaminess and adventure dwell. And as you got to know him, and as your lives moved from two single people to two peas in a pod, you took pleasure in the discovery of this new person, right down to finishing his sentences. Knowing him afforded you confidence: You could bet that your chicken casserole would become his favorite dish, you could successfully purchase the socks he likes from a sea of brands, and you could declare with conviction the title of the film he’d appreciate for your Saturday night date – all good stuff.
Over time the uncertainty faded away as he showed up for you in all kinds of delicious ways. Like when he drove you 700 miles in a snowstorm to your grandmother’s funeral, the way he loves your dog even though he didn’t want one, and how what matters to you now matters to him. This is how a good life is meant to be, yes? Yes.
Except… here’s where we blow it: