Ask Wendy

How Can I Get Her Back?

Reprinted from February 3, 2017
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Hey Wendy,
I met a woman online in November. After going on a few dates I asked her to be my girlfriend. She’s amazing, beautiful, funny, and always likes to talk. I liked that because I'm kind of socially awkward and it's hard for me to carry a conversation.
I had a bunch of crazy stuff happen over the holidays—extended family drama, started a new job, stuff like that. Our schedules didn't mesh well, so we saw each other maybe once a week.
She broke up with me and said that she wasn't happy with herself long before we got together. She hoped getting into a relationship would help, but it didn’t.
I ordered her roses and chocolate covered strawberries to be delivered on Valentines Day. What more can I do?

It’s probably really hard to see this right now, but there is someone out there who really wants to be with you—and you’re depriving her of this chance because you’re buying roses and chocolate-covered strawberries for someone who doesn’t want to be with you.
Is it too late to stop the order? If it is, can you reroute it to someone else, like your mom? Let this one go. If you’re destined to be with her, she’ll come back (pardon the cliché, but I really do believe that).
After going on 121 first dates, I cracked the code for how to find your true love: You date. You date until you meet someone who you don’t want to stop dating. And this person you don’t want to stop dating also doesn’t want to stop dating you. That’s the secret.
Keep going, and happy dating!

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