Ask Wendy

How Do I Get Through the Silent Treatment?

Friday, September 1, 2017
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Ask Wendy How Important is it to Have Things in Common within Your Relationship? Or Silent Treatment
Hey Wendy,

My partner and I went to a concert last weekend. He had work that morning and he wasn't feeling too well, so I showed up with a pizza so we could eat before we left. We had a great drive up and were both really excited about the concert. We were singing songs on the way, we were playful, we were flirty. After the concert, as we were waiting for the parking lot traffic to die down, we started talking about a topic I brought up and it went south fast. There was arguing, crying and all that.

He was supposed to stay the night, but he dropped me home, and left. There’s been very little texting, but he isn’t really responding to me. I tried to call but he isn’t answering. We’ve gone from talking every day to hardly texting all week. How do I deal with this silent treatment?

J.T. – Sacramento, CA

Hey J –

Did his mama forget to teach him to use his words?

My best guess is there’s something that he needs. Maybe an apology, clarity, understanding, or space. So text, “Love, what do you need from me so we can be back to normal? Please let me know.” See what he comes back with, and then look to see if you’re willing to provide that.

If he doesn’t respond, and he continues with the silent treatment, then you have a boyfriend who’s willing to be upset, not let you fix it, and leaves you hanging. There’s no partnership in that. I’d walk.

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