Ask Wendy

How Do I Friend-Zone Someone?

Tuesday, July 18, 2017
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friend zone
Hey Wendy,

What's the best way to transition to friendship after going on a date with someone?

Hi Dater,

Well… I only recommend this move if you honest-to-God, really want to be friends with them. If you just don’t want to date them, instead of converting to “friends” I recommend you say, “We’re not quite a match for dating” and move on.

But if you totally enjoy them as a human, and you want to hang out with them, just not romantically, then tell them you want to be friends, and ask them out on a friend date in the same breath. It could look like this: “Hey, I don’t think we’re a match romantically, but I want to be friends — seriously. Do you want to go see the Roots concert with me at the Fox on August 14th? If you don’t want to hang out as friends, I understand that too.”

Don’t assume they want another friend; that’s most likely not why they dated you in the first place.

Good luck.

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