Ask Wendy

How Do I Deal with My Husband’s Business Trips?

Reprinted from January 13, 2017
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How Important is it to Have Things in Common within Your Relationship? Or Silent Treatment
Wendy,
My husband is handsome, incredibly successful and in his late 30s. I trust him, and we’ve been married for 14 years. He has a work assignment that’ll take him out of state for four weeks. He’s being sent with a woman in her late 20s who drunkenly bragged to me that her "specialty" is breaking up marriages and I should "keep an eye" on mine. We've discussed every option for him including quitting. What are my options here?

It sounds like you and your husband are on the same page on this one, so I don’t think you have much part in this other than being apprised of any new developments in the situation.
He’s a grown-ass man, and if he’s incredibly successful, I bet he’s pretty darned good at drawing a clear boundary. I recommend he ask the hotel to put his sleeping room as far away from hers as possible and to insist the staff keep his room number and floor private. I’d also make myself scarce in the evening and not allow for meet-ups during any free time on the trip.

My hot tip for you is to ask him for what will calm your nerves around this and see if he can pony up. Do you need to Skype every night before bed? Will a “good-morning” text suffice? What will get your claws to retract and calm your “Wipe her off the planet” instincts? We want you cool as a cucumber for those four weeks. What will that take?

And finally, in the event she comes back with a steamy story for you (or anyone else, for that matter), don’t buy it. There are some who like the excitement of drama. Don’t hop down to the low road with her. Stay high above it – don’t take the bait.

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